Feeling Dead

I feel dead

And you're not helping

Help me feel

Like I'm living

I don't know where to begin

It's just a mess

You're one word answers

Make me angry

You're simple routine

Makes me mad

I say it's showtime

You say it's no time

For any fooling around

I said I feel dead

And you're not helping

Help me feel

Like I'm living

I don't know where to begin

It's just a mess

Deep Thinker

His wrists were scarred

You could tell that he

"Scraped" himself

Possibly fell on a knife?

Almost lost his life

He asked me what I thought about

Death

He asked me if there was another

Life

And he wonders if anyone could ever

Love him

I told him I did

And I thought I did

But my love wasn't enough

And we all know life is tough

Sometimes you just have to

Suck it up

Breathe it out

Try again

Love Song

You said to me

Oh you said baby there's no one else I'd rather be with

And I have wanted, yeah oh I've wanted

To hear those words for so long

It's not like I've been praying for you

It's not like I've been wishing for you

And all along I've known in my heart

That you'd come along

And sing me a song of love

Of love

Now there's one more thing

That I just can't wait for

Put your arms around me

And don't you ever let me go

Yeah you said to me

Oh you said baby there's no one else I'd rather be with

And I have wanted, yeah oh I've wanted

To hear those words for so long

gah

I'm sick in love

or something like that

Merry Christmas

Dear ---,

I miss you

I still think of you

Every now and then

I miss your voice

And your talent

I miss talking to you

I wish we were still friends

At the least

But I guess we won't ever talk

Not now, not ever

But you'll always be in my heart

And I forgive you your wrong-doings

I hope you're doing well

And one more thing

Please think of me

With much love,

------

The End

I feel like cryin'

I feel like dyin'

It ain't your fault

But it's no use tryin'

We fought a war

And the war fought us

It's over, it's over

Don't make a fuss

Don't hurt yourself more

It's just not right

I guess this is the end

Of the big fight

Don't Know Why

He's a real flirt

Number one on the list

Don't know why I like him

But he's the reason I exist

He's a real athlete

Muscles this big

Don't know why I want him

When he makes me feel like shit

He's a real guy

He can be so immature

Don't know why I need him

But he makes my heart feel sore

WHY

WHYYYYY MEEEE?! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

HE. IS. GOING. AGAIN!? WHY WHWYWHWYWWWHWYWHWYWHWYWWHWYWYWYHYY. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY HE WOULD GO TO THAT. LIKE HOW!?!? WHY!??

Smile

Whenever I think of you, I smile

I can't help it

I smile when no ones looking

I smile all the time

You bring me so much joy

Sometimes it almost makes me cry

From happiness

I have a permanent smile

And it's all your fault

Love Me Like I Love You

Sometimes being with you

Scares me to the point that

I don't know what to do

It's like
Not knowing where I'm going

Or what's happening

At times I wonder

Where all of my love is going

Is it all worth it in the end

Am I being loved back

The way I want you to?

I Wish

Well who do you think you are
Saying you can't see me?
Don't you know I need you?
I thought you wanted me
Didn't you want me?
So act like you love me
Act like you need me
Honey, I thought that we could be

I wish that you would call at four in the morning
I wish you said you loved me with more passion
I wish you'd hold me and never let me go

Maybe it's just me
Maybe I want to control everything
I guess it doesn't matter
When you're off flirting with other girls

I wish that you would call at four in the morning
I wish you said you loved me with more passion
I wish you'd hold me and never let me go

Call me at four in the moring
Tell me you love me
And never let me go
Don't ever let me go

Where Do I Belong?

It's morning but I've been awake all night
Fighting the voices, I fight fight fight
Can't seem to get through to myself
I am me and no one else

Who can tell me where I belong?
When can I stop singing these songs?
I'm full of sadness, I'm full of regret
Can you teach me how to forget?

It's like I've been walking in circles all my life
It's like someone's carving out my heart with a knife
They will take it out of my chest
And I will bleed, yeah I'll bleed to death

As Long As I Am Me

The sun shines in through the curtains
Waking me up from a peaceful dream
I roll over and wish you were here
But I know you must be out
Gallivanting through the streets
With someone better,
Someone better than me
And so I'll stay in bed all day
Thinking of how we could be
Knowing that it'll never be that way
As long as I am me

Lovers' Embrace

Limbs entangled
One here, one there
Lips touching
Kiss here, kiss there
Hands searching
Look here, look there

This is the lovers' embrace
Can you feel your heart race?

Doubting You

No one can console me the way you do
No one can make me feel so new
But when you do something so wrong
So vile and worthy of mistrust
I'm going to have my doubts
Who knows what you would do?
I hope you feel guilty
Extremely guilty
Because I feel horrible
I feel like, to put it in simple terms,
Like you took a crap on my face

A Dear

His eyes
Knowing and intelligent
His smile
Almost a smirk
His hands
Warm and gentle
Strumming that guitar
Making sweet sounds
His voice
So sweet, so true
So harmonious
Mocking me
In a joking manner
I thought I loved him
I knew I loved him
Couldn't hate him
Would never hate him
Can never hate him
I wish he thought about me
The way I thought about him

Grade Eight

I was so naive
So young
So brave
There were good times
And hard times
I remember
Being hurt
Being infatuated
I remember
Getting things right
And other things wrong
I remember
Everything
Like it was yesterday
But I was so naive
So young
So brave
To make it through with out giving up
One of my biggest accomplishments

Love.

Love
Something delicious
Something sweet
Sometimes promiscuous
Not at all tidy or neat

When you feel it
You know what it is
Your heart, falling, falling
Beating faster, faster
Your head, spinning, spinning

Who would have thought
One person
Could make you feel this way

Hurt

Don't walk away from me
Can't you see that you need me?
It's okay to get mad
But this love is all we had
I can help you through the struggle
I can help you through the fight
I wish I could do more
I wish I could hold you
And say that everything would be
All right
But that might be a lie
And I can't
For reasons you already know
But don't walk away
I want to help you

We'll Make It

I can feel the beating of my heart
And I've known it from the start
That you and me were meant to be
So baby please don't you leave me

It's a different story
When we start to fight
It's a different story
And you know it's not right

But I forgive you all those times
That you almost broke my heart
I forgive you all those times
Cuz I've loved you from the start

But I guess it's been too much for you
I guess you think we won't make it through
But I know we will
Yeah I know we will
Cuz I know we will
Yeah we will

Don't leave me
I'm still here
And I'm betting on us

I Miss You

I miss those days at the beach
Where we kissed in the sand and in the sea
I miss those days at the park
Where we threw a football and played keep-away
But mostly I miss being around you
And your smiling face
I miss your hugs and your touch
I miss your hands and your face
I miss you

Marry Me

If I asked you to marry me, right here, right now
What would you say?
Would you say yes and love me 'til death?
Or would you say no and be on your way?
How much do I mean to you?
How much love do you give to me?
And while I'm down here on one knee
And you're up there looking away
And you say marriage isn't something you were looking for

The Day I Met You

It was cold and windy
I felt small and shy
You handed me your jacket
And I started to cry
You asked me what was wrong
And I answered in reply
"No one's ever been so nice to me,
As to give me their coat,
As if you knew I felt alone."
You smiled
And said you felt alone, too

Trust

Trust me, he says
And I want to
With all my heart
But I am filled with doubt
How can I give my heart away
Knowing there might be consequences?
But I give you my trust
I give you my heart
I love you and trust you
But one wrong move
And my heart can shatter
My trust will scatter
And my love will be lost
But it is all I have to give to you
And I hope you hold it in your hands
Not squeezing too tight
And not wanting to let go

Stuck in the Mud

You point and you laugh
But do you know what you see?
She's screaming for help
But no one comes to her side
Everyone mocks her
You see her try to run
You see her try to hide
But she can't
She's stuck in the mud

Study Hall

I am so bored
Sitting here
With nothing to do
Just trying to think
Of something to write
But I can't
I have a brain blockage
Does that even make sense?
I meant to say
Writers' Block
Arghhhh.

Heart Not Beating

If it weren't for you
I don't know where I'd be
Maybe under a bridge
Floating away
Eyes closed
Heart not beating

If it weren't for you
I don't know where I'd be
Maybe swaying in the breeze
Hanging
Eyes closed
Heart not beating

If it weren't for you
I don't know where I'd be
Maybe in the hospital
Lying cold in a white bed
Expired
Eyes closed
Heart not beating

Black

I'll paint my eyes black
My nails black, too
Until you realise where I am
How I feel
I'm just sitting here
Waiting for someone
To understand
My eyes are black and heavy
My nails are black and long
Ready to fight the world
With a sharp tongue
Ready to hear you say
"What's wrong?"
And break down
Crying

Christmas Wish List

For those of you who check my blog and would like to give me a little somethin' somethin', here ya go:

1. MONEY!! Yeah that's right. Empty your wallets, people. I want your money.
2. art supplies. something cool and out of the blue.
3. a MANNEQUIN! Hahahaha.
4. happiness, love, peace, and joy.

That's it folks. Money is the easiest way to go. ;) I don't even know what I'd give myself for Christmas. As long as it's a good one, I'm happy.

Much love,
Ava Lively

You and Me

As we lay on the mattress together
In each others arms
I can smell you
So clean and fresh
I can feel your heart beating fast
And your hands slowly stroking my back
So nice and warm together
We were meant to be
How I love laying here with you
Just you and me
Laying here peacefully

I love you

Never thought I'd end up with someone like you
Never thought I'd love you like I do
Just the thought of losing you makes me want to cry
Just the thought of hurting you makes me want to die
Cuz I love you, love you more than anyone else
Yeah I love you, love you more than anything else

Music Review

Paramore's new album, Brand New Eyes, ROCKS. GO BUY IT NOW

Quote of the Day

"Dear Darla,
I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes.
Love,
Alfalfa"
- Alfalfa, The Little Rascals

Quote of the Day

"What can I compare you to, when everything looks like you?"
- The Weepies

Last Bath

She had sat on the edge of the tub
Watching the water rise up
Fully clothed

She was not planning to take a bath
But at least she'd be going somewhat clean

She tied a brick around her neck
And slowly lowered herself
No need to hold her breath
She would not fight it

All you could hear was running water
Spilling over the edge
With a life-less form near the bottom

It was easy to identify her
For she didn't take off the necklace
Her boyfriend had given her

Quote of the Day

"You won't ever remember what you choose to forget."
- Bright Eyes

A Tragedy

With shaking hands, he sealed the envelope
And put it in the mailbox
He secretly hoped the letter would never get to her
Would never reach his beloved
But it did
With shaking hands, she opened the envelope
Carefully, so as not to ruin the writing on the front
The letter brought her to tears
"Beloved,
I write to you, this last time, to let you know how much I truly love you.
More than the stars above. More than the grains of sand in all the deserts.
I can no longer live without you by my side.
And I know that you cannot leave your place.
So you, Beloved, will be the only one who knows what happened to me.
I have drowned myself. Shortly after sending this letter to you.
Please do not mourn for me. Our love could not flourish. I wish you to be happy.
Remember me as I was when we first met."
Immediately, she tore up the letter
Threw it in the fire and went to consult the local witch
The witch gave her a potion, to kill herself fast
She drank it, no, inhaled it and was soon down on the ground breathing fast
And then slow, slowly, slower.
Then there was nothing
Their love could not flourish
Her last wish was that she meet him wherever it is where people go when they die.

By Kalin Grace Tin

By Ucuh ☺ Badunx

By Geoffroy Richer-Lalonde (Death Cab For Cutie)

By Sean Donovan

Me

This picture was taken by a friend, and I edited it. I like the look.

ANGER

I want to kick you very hard in the shins.
I want to pull your hair until it comes off your head.
I want to throw a wooden block towards the wall.
So that it break all the pictures hanging on it.

I'm going to ignore you, fight you, yell at you.
I'm going to scream until my lungs collapse.
You can't stop this rush of violence.
You can't stop something so intense.

Summer I Love You

Summer
Three months of bliss
Oh, Summer
You don't know how much I'm going to miss
You
Summer
You'll always be a friend
Oh, Summer
I wish you didn't have to end

But you do, and now it's time for something new
But you do, and now it's time for something new

Summer
It was good having you around
Oh, Summer
The news is all over town

Summer
You're leaving us
Summer
You're cheating us

Wish we could have you for longer
Wishing the sun could be stronger

But Summer
Tomorrow you'll be gone
And Summer
Soon life will be a yawn
Without you

You're leaving us,
You're cheating us

Please don't go

Can You Feel It

Can you feel it when I kiss you?
All heavy and soft
Does it make you sad to know I'm sad?
Can you tell I want you more than anything else?
Just to lay my head on your shoulder
To be comforted by you
To know that you care
Can you feel it when I hold you?
All tight and rough
Do you know I never want to let go?
Can you tell I want to be next to you forever?
Just to hold your hand
And know that you want me
Can you feel it when I look in your eyes?
Does my sadness show through, or does it die?

No Feelings

I have no feelings
I can sense it in my gut
I don't care what people think
I don't even care about what I think
I'm so empty
I could sit and stare at a wall all day
I'd have no thoughts about it
If it fell down, I wouldn't blink
To feel like you have no feelings
Is the worst of all
You only have one feeling then,
One thought
I have no feelings
It's useless to think
Unless I want to cry

Inside of Me

Inside of me there's a silence
So quiet but yet so loud
It's like a never ending scream
At times I hear nothing
Yet at other times all I can hear is
Bits of yarn
And tangles of thread
Last pages of books I've read
Sometimes I hear whispers of thoughts
Unwelcome in my life
Thoughts that harm me, scare me
The silence, so quiet, yet so loud
Is screaming inside of me
But I get protected from the sound
I close my eyes, my ears, my fists
I stare at the wall, let the tears fall
So much pressure, so much pain
The devil must've kissed me on the cheek
When I was born, said this is the one
Let her hell begin
But it couldn't be that bad
It isn't that bad
The bits of yarn and tangles of thread
Start coming apart at the ends
The frays tickle me and I laugh
I laugh and I scream until I'm empty
Emptier than before

Betrayer

Who said that you could come back into my life?
Who said that you could try to ruin it?
Who said that if you showed off, I'd want you back?
Who said that if you kissed me, I'd want you back?

Was it a bad idea for me to invite you as a friend?
Was it a bad idea for me to still care about you?
Was it a bad idea for me to look at you in the eyes?
Was it a bad idea for me to talk to you?

It hurts to know that you still like me.
It hurts to know that I could still have you if I didn't have him.
It hurts to know that we really could have been.
It hurts to know that we both got hurt.

Worst of all, I know I love someone else.
Worst of all, I know you love me.
Worst of all, I can still be attracted to you.
Worst of all, it all makes me sick.

Dear Shrink 2

Dear Shrink,

I've been in overall a good mood! Have a boyfriend, with whom I think things are going really well. Taking it slow. Just the way I like it.

School is coming up. Not stressing about it. Gonna try to go with the flow this year... even though I have no idea where I am going yet. That's okay. It'll get figured out somehow.

I got some new music! A Fine Frenzy, Arctic Monkeys, and Company of Thieves. They're all very good.

There IS one thing marring my beautiful ray of happiness. My STUPID doctor thinks that I can't ready body language or something. I dunno. It bothers me, because maybe he's right. He says that the reason I get nervous easily is because I don't understand what's going on around me. I dunno how I feel about that.

Much Love,
Ava

Making Plans

Making plans for the future
Without knowing if there is one
Is scary and yet thrilling
To be infatuated is like
Being drugged up on
Laughing gas, laughing
The whole time
Knowing it might end
Yet hoping it won't ever
And sometimes you get down
'Cause you know there always is an end.

Until the End

As we laid upon his bed
With his arms around me
I turned to look at him
And he was smiling
I asked what he was thinking of
He said 'You, of course'
And I kissed him gently
And he kissed back
Until we fell asleep
In his arms, I'd like to stay
Forever or until the end
With his hand in my hand
With his lips on mine

Hanging On

I'm hanging on tight
To everything we've got
I'm gonna fill in these cracks
With a glue stronger than blood

I'm hanging on tight
And I'm not letting go
If you feel like crying
Just let the tears flow

I'm hanging on tight
So, babe, don't worry
I'll be here for you
There's no hurry

I'm hanging on tight
We'll be all right
You just hang on tight, too.

A Song For You

I'm a little nervous
Yeah I'm a little scared
Don't know how to impress
Don't know what to wear

Oh I'm a little excited
Yeah I'm a little in love
Don't know how this started
Guess I'm circling all of the above

Cuz I want this to last
Yeah and I hope it can
If we try hard our love
Cannot die
No it cannot die

Sometimes I get frightened
But it wont be getting in the way
Sometimes I am shortsighted
And do silly things that you don't like

But in the end it’s all okay
Cuz I know at the end of the day
You’re still mine
Yeah you’re still mine

Thank You, Cupid

Cupid finally aimed his bow
Into someone I love so
And when he looks into my eyes
I can feel mine shine
My hands in his
My trust in him
Like no other boy
He's devoted to me
And I say thank you, Cupid
For shooting your arrow
Into my lover's heart
For me!*

*Reference to Chris Walla's song, Cupid

CUTENESS

Hear Me Cry

Heart-wrenching sobs coming from my throat
Hot salty tears running down my cheeks
As I stare at you in bewilderment
And you stare at me in fear
No one would have guessed that this would come true
What have you done, I'm screaming in your ear
And the blood, and the wet, they're there on the bed
And you and I can't get out of each others heads
I'm small and scared and feeling meek
And you're tall and looming as you start to speak
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we were never meant to be
I'm sobbing, I'm sobbing, look what you did to me

Sleep

How did you sleep last night?
With my eyes closed
And indeed I did
And I dreamt about the sweetest things
Like sugar- plum fairies and
Trinkets and toys and
Love and forgiveness and
Even about boys
How did I sleep last night, you ask?
With my eyes closed
I dreamt about you
And how happy we could be
I dreamt about us, at noon, drinking tea
I dreamt how we could dance and sing
And be happy together, for the rest of our lives
I dreamt that our love would never die
How did I sleep last night?
With my eyes closed
And you by my side

I Wish

Sometimes I wish
I wasn't so shy
How can I be so outgoing
When there are others nearby?
But catch me alone
And the cat has my tongue
Making me feel inexperienced and young
Sometimes I wish
I wasn't so shy
But alas, I cannot change overnight

Plan Gone Awry

I wanted to meet you and hang out
I wanted to be your friend
I hope we are friends now
But when I was with you
I got this crush feeling
That I haven't had in while
And the truth is you make me smile
Like no one has done in a long time
And so I didn't want to leave
I'd rather have kissed you instead

INFLATABLE MANNEQUINS

http://www.inflatablemannequins.com/items/Inflatable-Mannequins/Female-Mannequins/list.htm

what is this new bizzare and enchanting way to have a mannequin for cheap!? OMG. soo interesting.

Krysis

The Next Big Thing

Krysis

As a young kid, Johann "Krysis" Gallo went through a lot. His parents got divorced and his mom was always crying. He felt he had no where to turn to. One day he turned on his television and saw Lil Wayne and Genuwine. From that moment forward, he knew he had to rap. It became his addiction. He first started out by writing poems, but then he started going into lyrics. Krysis writes about things that go on in the world, stuff that he's going through, and things that make him, and hopefully, you, think. He wants to share his music with the world. He has been inspired by many rappers, and thinks that if they can do it, so can he.

To listen to Krysis' music please click here and suscribe!

Pretending

He was kissing her with a passion
Even though this was the first time he'd seen her in years
Her body, small and smooth was just enough
To pretend she was someone else
Yes, he missed her
Quite a lot, he never quite got over her
And with this girl he could pretend
That he was back with her again

Keep You Near (Mercy)

I am afraid because we never talk
I am afraid because you're never here
And if I have to keep flipping through pictures to keep you near,
What's my love worth to you?
All the same, you deserve better than me
For I am sick with sorrow that I can't please you
I am afraid that you think me too much trouble
I am afraid that it may be 40 - 60
Or worse, 60 - 40
All I can do is keep flipping through pictures of you to keep you near.

Birthday Wish List

So my birthday is coming up and some of you may wonder what I could possibly want. Well, here we go:

1. Money is always the best way to go.
2. Nikon D90
3. A mannequin of some sort. Hopefully bendable. I like mannequins.
4. Photoshop Elements
5. A thought on number 3, maybe I'd like this: http://www.roxydisplayinc.com/webpage/bodyforms/female/black/f02sleg-bs04.html hmmm...
6. skull candy head phones. nice ones.


that's about it. I love hoodies.. I love hugs.. I love random artsy things.

Awkward

Excited for some fun
He waited on the doorstep for her to pick him up
He'd be going to her house to be with her
But when he got there
It seemed like the whole family was waiting for him
And he felt so awkward
He almost lost his cool
But apparently he didn't
'Cause he could still be a really good kisser

New Make Up Look

Inspired by fantasy, I suppose..

Strangers Making Love

We were just two strangers making love
Just two people in a world filled with people
Does our love count?
We didn't talk
We were just two strangers making love
In a bed too big for one
Just add another figure
Do the math, it equals love
Kissing, kissing
And ending up sore
We were just two strangers making love
No less, no more

Feelings

Feeling a little guilty
Feeling a little scared
It's not that I don't want you
It's that I don't want to hurt you

Feeling a little shameful
Feeling a little down
It's not that I don't care
I just can't stand to see you frown

Feeling a little glum
Feeling a little blue
I guess it's not your fault
I don't know what to do

Feeling a little frozen
Feeling a little cold
Your touch makes me shiver
I'm like a piece of ice around you

So shape me with your pick
Hurt me with your tools
I don't care
As long as you're happy
I'm here for you

Kiss Me

I kissed him
I kissed him so he'd realise what he had been missing
He must've known it, how could he not?
He must've known that I've loved him
Ever since that day, that first time
I bit his lip and pulled him closer
He was going to be mine
His reaction was rough
Kissing, but not
I kissed harder
He kissed back
But pushed me away
His eyes, questioning
He muttered, "I have to go"
I ran after him
"Can't you see I need you?!"
His sad eyes said no
My small heart broke
That one kiss we shared, I thought I showed him need
He left, saying sorry, he should have never kissed me

Question of the Day

Is it better to give away what you love, or to learn to take it back?

Without A Word

He left without a word
Just walked out with his bags
What could have i done wrong?
I slept with him
I cleaned for him
I cooked for him
I did everything for him
He never complained
Until last night
He blew his top
He said
He said this was all too much
He said
He said he couldnt take it anymore
He said
He said to just leave him alone
And this morning he walked out
Despite doing everything i could
He walked out
With his bags over his shoulder
Without saying a word

a haiku for you

a man dressed in green
saw me dance to music alone
he smiled at my joy

Shock

I thought I would never have to deal with you again
I thought that when you left, you were gone for good
Now that you're back, I don't know what to think
It's like going backwards, not knowing where I'm going
I'm in shock, I really am. This isn't what I expected.
The doctor's had said I was fine. What happened?
Did you come back to spite me? To make me mad?
Two times in one year. Could you be a little less hateful?
I'm in a state of shock. I don't deserve this.

Drop the Bomb

Oh, you'll never know what's coming
And I laugh in my contempt
The bomb I'm going to drop
Is so over your head
You don't know what's coming
And I cringe in my madness
The bomb I'm going to drop
Could bring you some sadness
You can't guess what's coming
And I sigh in my relief
At least it's finally dropping
But you'll be in disbelief

Lock Me Up

Just lock me up now
Before I hurt someone
Just lock me up now
Get it over with and done
I ain't gonna get what I want
Pretty soon I'll lose control
And with you staring at me like that
Well, lemme just say, I'd like to give you a slap
I'm no more stranger than you are
Yet you insist on it being so
So lock me up now
Before I hurt myself
That's all you need to know

Under My Skin

"Alright-y then."
And I realise, that's something he used to say
"Hallelujah."
And I realise, that's something he would play

Being with him, I've picked up his ways
Without him around, I do and say what he would

I've studied him

I know how he frowns when he reads the paper
I know how he smiles when pleased by me

I wonder what he is doing now, and am able to guess quite accurately

I smile, thinking that whether he is with me or not, I'll always have him
He's become a part of me

His lifestyle, the way he is, has gotten under my skin.

A Cry for Help

He grasped at her clothes
At her neck, at her arms
He grasped for his life
Needing to be held down
Wanting to fly high
She let him in
Never a second thought
Just wanting to help
His desperation, his helplessness
Didn't know it'd lead to regret
His one thought was
Help

Mentally Ill

"Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness.

Love creates activity in the same area of the brain where hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out."

Glitter Eyes

Use something sticky as your base for the glitter. There will be inevitable fall-out on your face, so have some wet wipes ready. I used blue sheer-stick and a little water as my base. Then I patted on the glitter. I highlighted the brows with a soft gold. Use liquid eye-liner and mascara to finish the look.

Some Quotes

Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream
- Anonymous

Playing it safe is the most popular way to fail.
- Elliott Smith

Worry does not take the pain out of tomorrow; it merely takes the joy out of today.
- Anonymous

The quieter you become, the more you can hear.
- Ram Das

The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice…it is conformity.
- Rollo May

Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.
- Alan Watts

One's first love is always perfect until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
- Anonymous

Covered In Blood

Covered in blood, he faced himself in the mirror
Hardly recognizing himself, he screamed in agony
What had gotten him into this mess?
Yes, they were after him
And yes, there was a girl
But what happened to the man with the simple life?
Now he was on the run from the government
Cheating on his wife, running from her as well
Covered in blood, he began to weep
Kneeling on the floor
Throwing up
He never meant for his life to be like this
He never meant to end it like this
Taking his razor he killed himself
With one deep cut, up the length of his arm
And another on his neck
Crying, he fell onto the floor
Covered in blood, he died

Like Thread Torn From Cloth

The two lovers were torn apart like thread from cloth sewn together with love
No longer allowed to speak to each other, they each went their own way
She went home to her house on the farm
He went home to his apartment in the city
She cried each night thinking of her past
He took up smoking and drinking
He eventually wasted his life away
She never heard from him, but was stuck on him
She thrashed about at night, unable to sleep
During the day, she stayed home and cooked his favourite meals
She saved him a piece every night until she became insane
She built a man quite like a scarecrow
Slept with him and called him hers
Her hair grew wild and was never clean
One night she awoke and realised her instability
In a fury she took up her "man"
Threw him into the fire
Tore up her clothes
Looking in the mirror, she saw how hideous she had become
She scratched up her face and tore out her hair
Collapsing on the ground and fainting
Next morning she was found dead

Closer To You

Sleep
Morning
Breakfast
Work
Lunch
Dinner
Chores
Sleep
Every passing day brings me closer to you.

Life of a Superstar

Pill- popper
Show- stopper

Blinded by the flashing lights
Caught sneaking out at night

This is what fame is about
Yeah, this is the life of a superstar

Drugs in the back- seat
Baby due next week

Three divorces and a fourth one coming
Didn't plan it this way, gonna keep loving

Time to make an escape
Time to make a run for it
Time to make a change
Time to make a run for it

Here's your last chance
Rehab ain't the best
Here's your last chance
This is your final test

Pill- popper
Show- stopper

Blinded by the flashing lights
Caught sneaking out at night

This is what fame is about
Yeah, this is the life of a superstar

What I Learned From Camping

1. That when it rains like crazy with lightning and thunder that blinds and deafens you, it doesn't matter as long as you have a hand to hold.

2. That when you try to be nice and dance with the shy guys standing in the corners, it doesn't always work out.

2a. George was a very shy guy, with a sunburnt nose and crooked glasses. I picked him because he had red hair. Unfortunately, his personality was not as bright and interesting as his hair was.

3. That when wearing a bikini, MAKE SURE IT IS TIED ON SECURELY, or else your nephew just might take off your top in front of everyone in the pool.

4. That taking your puppy into the tent and leaving her there might mean sleeping in poop-ified sleeping bags.

5. That your family counts as your best group of friends in the world. In the end, all you'll have is your family. Trust them and treat them like you treat your best friend.

6. That dads can be very entertaining.

6a. "Wiffle ball: pronounced wiff-a-ball. A game where you use a ball with holes in it so you are able to stick in some weed. When the ball comes by, you wiff it!"

7. That mothers can be very entertaining.

7a. "LAST NIGHT WAS TERRIBLE. I WAS UP ON MY KNEES PRAYING THE WHOLE TIME FOR THE STORM TO PASS."

8. That no matter how much bug spray you might have sprayed on, the bugs are actually completely immune to it. They will bite you a million and one times over.

9. That a Chorkie can swallow chicken faster than you can say it's name.

10. That despite the fact you were not looking forward to camping, the experience is always great.

Dream

He knocked on the front door.
Surprise!
She never expected him.
She opened the screen and let him in.
Hi, how are you doing?
I'm doing fine, yourself?
Oh you know, same old, same old.
So what brings you around here?
You.
Me?
Yes, you.
This answer was the last thing she expected
And the first thing she prayed for every night.
They kissed in the brilliant morning sun.

Then she woke up.

NEW LINK

http://www.bash.org/?151227

A Family and Two Lovers

Walking along the beach
You see families making castles
You see lovers making love
You see birds flying above
The water is at high tide
The sky is cloudless
But somehow your mind is clouded
With thoughts that you never knew could exist
And why they're there, you don't know
They're all about him
You want him to walk along the beach with you
To see the families and the lovers
To be a family and two lovers

I want you to be special

I hope you're as good as they say
As good as your word
You sound so nice
So comforting and gentle
I hope you can make me smile
And laugh to no end
Care for me like no one else has
Share your food with me
I hope you're not a fool
Who falls in love with any girl
Cuz I like to think I'm special
And I want to think you're special, too

Hello Ex-Boyfriend

Hello ex-boyfriend
And how are you today?
I heard you're not doing too well
Yeah, and I've got news for you
I've more than moved on
I've gotten over you
Don't doubt me now
I have a new lover
And he is better than you ever could be to me
I hope you get over your troubles
I'll still be here for you
Just don't bother me with accusations
They aren't worth your time
For you have yours and I have mine

Chorkie!!

New Make-Up Look

Colours used: Blue sheer stick for primer, orange up to the crease, brown up to the eyebrow, and blue at the crease line.

Never Gonna Happen

How many times have you woke up cryin' for the person you can't have?
How many times have you wound up lyin' so you could keep both halves?
It seems so hard to let go, it's just so hard, you feel so low.
And you're sure he's the one for you, and you keep on saying "soon."
But it ain't never gonna happen, no it ain't never comin' true.

The End to Depression?

When your vision is a blurry mess
When your head is pounding with stress
And you're crying, crying
For a reason you don't know

When all you want to do is sit around
When all the only thing you feel is drown'd
And you're fighting, fighting
For a reason you don't know

It's time for a change
Something new to do
Someone new to comfort you
It's time to start thinking straight
Change your slow walk to a happy gait

It's hard, it's hard
But it's better than nothing
It's tough, it's tough
But life is rough

So start trying, stop crying
This is the end, so stop fighting

My life.

"You can latch on if you want, but you're just gonna fall off."

Story of my life.

I found this to be funny.

Another make up look!

Here we used neon pink again, and some grey on the crease line. We made sure to blend it, of course. Finished off the colours with a light light yellow to highlight the brow. Then for the finishing touches we used liquid eye-liner a bit past the end of the lashes. And then we added mascara, ta-da! Here's a chic rocker look.

ichat

ICHAT SUCKS. It keeps logging me outtt grrrrrr. and then I'm talking to myself for about an hour until I realise oh wait it must've logged me out again, dammit.

Hey Ya'll

All right guys, whether you're a guy or a girl, I say make up is for everyone. I found a REALLY GOOD make up artist. He's funny and cute and his name is Josh. Here is one video that I want all of ya'll to check out. He is really talented. His site is: http://www.petrilude.com/

Away with traditional eye-shadow?!

I just came across this (perhaps a bit too late, for this was posted in February 2008) butttt, they have invented a stick on and peel off eye shadow! No more brushes, pencils, and powders.
To this I say PISH POSH. Where is the real artistry in this!? The blending, the highlighting, and all the work that goes into making your eyes, well, eye-catching, is what makes the look special! And if you look at the picture you can tell it isn't perfect. Again I say, pish and posh.

NeverShoutNever

I just downloaded NeverShoutNever's The Summer EP. The first song, "Happy" really is a happy song. Another song that stands out is "On The Brightside." It is about comparing tall and small and finding peace of mind. The Yippee EP is also great. Starting off with the ambitious and energetic "Heregoesnothin" this EP is great for the summer as well. NeverShoutNever remind me of Hellogoodbye and maybe All Time Low. These two EP's are must downloads for your summer playlist!

Missing You

Remember when we’d hang around town
When we got caught by the black police
When you took my hand and we ran
As fast as our feet would go

Remember when you’d hold me close
Closer than anybody else
And you’d kiss the top of my head
And promised never to let go

Well, I miss you, I miss you
Yeah, I miss you, oh

Remember that day when
We went to the beach
We kissed in the sand
We were flying so high
You said you loved me
I loved you too

I wish we could go back
To the best days of my life
Oh if we could go back
I promise not to mess it up (again)

Well; I miss you, I miss you
Yeah, I miss you, I miss you, oh

More Make Up

Colours Used: Purple, Blue, Green, Pink, Black(Eye liner)
Start on the outer corner of your eye with purple, then continue counter-clockwise with blue and green. Blend where the colours meet. Use Pink, starting again at the outer corner, and bring under the eye. Put a light colour under the brow to highlight it. Don't forget the eye liner and the mascara.

Dear Reader

Dear Reader,

Life is a grand old thing. It's been around since Adam and Eve and the Big Bang. In life, we suffer, we experience joys and sorrows, but most of all we experience a journey....

Is that getting too deep for ya? It is for me.
Definition of Life: A funny, funny, funny thing that begins to happen when the egg is fertilized in a woman's body.

The best outlook to have on life is being able to laugh at it all. Not to say that you should treat life as a joke, but when worst comes to worst and you're not in the best position, just think about it and you'll start laughing. (I hope. Or else this post is rather irrelevant.)

Reader, I hope your life is as grand and funny as mine.

With much love and laughter,
Ava Lively.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KQAVCfSzzk

Rest In Peace

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett.

Michael died at the age of 50 from a heart attack.

Farrah Fawcett died at the age of 62 from cancer.

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=94855152030&h=ulGCB&u=-Mzuf&ref=mf

Realisation

Girl:
I’m always thinking about you
I hope you’re thinking of me too
I don’t know why I can’t let go
It’s like I’m running backwards

Boy:
Oh I know its hard
But you’ve got to try
I’m not here for you
It’s been awhile since I’ve said good-bye

Girl:
But it’s not just the thought of you that kills me
It’s the things, that we did, and the things I want to do

Boy:
I’m not your friend
I never was
It’s long been the end
Don't know why we're still talking

Girl:
Oh, I, Can’t get you off my mind
No, I, Can't get you off my mind
Boy:
Oh Why, Cant you get me off your mind
Oh Why, Cant you get me off your mind

Neon Pink Eye Make-Up

Suicide

In 2005, Connecticut was ranked 44th in suicide numbers.
If you are having suicidal thoughts, you must really think about how your family and friends will react and feel afterwards. If you feel like you have no one to talk to please call these numbers!

Suicide Prevention Hotlines:

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Don't hurt yourself to stop the pain. The next step would be suicide and suicide is not the answer. We were all put on this earth for a reason. You can always seek help and talk to someone about your feelings. There will always be someone that cares. You'd be a much bigger hero to keep living than to kill yourself.

If you are feeling down or depressed, feel free to post a comment. No one deserves to suffer alone.

party

arms swinging
hips swaying
voices ringing
let's sing all night
you sing all right
I've got you in sight

MY IPOD WAS STOLEN

WHY DO PEOPLE STEAL!?

"I thought you were special"

Garbage's song, Special, is exactly what I feel like right now.
Here are the lyrics:

I'm living without you
I know all about you
I have run you down into the ground
Spread disease about you over town

I used to adore you
I couldn't control you
There was nothing that I wouldn't do
To keep myself around and close to you

Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
But I've run out of patience
I couldn't care less

I...
I...

Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know

I used to amuse you
I knew that I'd lose you
Now you're here and begging for a chance
There's no way in hell I'd take it back

Do you have an opinion?
A mind of your own?
I thought you were special
I thought you should know
But I've run out of patience
I've run out of comments
I'm tired of the violence
I couldn't care less

I'm looking for a new
I'm looking for a new
I'm looking for a new
I'm looking for a new

We were the talk of the town
We were the talk of the town
We were the talk of the town
We were the talk of the town

I thought you were special
I thought you were special
I thought you were special
I thought you were special...

Two guys. One was immature and opinion-less. The other was someone whom I thought I knew but I guess I didn't know him at all. I thought he was special...

Answers

I just want some answers
Something substantial
You flipping led me on
For a year

You don't have the right
To say it doesn't matter
Cuz it did
And you know it

!@#$

I love the music on this.

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/500daysofsummer/

Satan

Mum: When Satan comes knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, will you get that?"

Me: Ok..

Grandmother: How precious! Only problem is, Satan doesn't knock! He just comes right in!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_UyVmITiYQ

Girl Stares

Do you want to know what I absolutely detest, abhor, hate?
Have you ever experienced meeting someone new, or just running into someone, specifically a girl and they won't say anything, but they'll just STARE at you?
It's like what do you want? Have I got a booger on my face? Why don't you speak?!
It feels really really really horrible to be stared at. And I don't know if they know they're staring or what but it's a terrible thing to do.
Personally, I know that I HAVE done the stare-down, but I only do it purposely to girls I don't like. That's something different all together.
But the other day I went to the bathroom at a bowling alley. And I was feeling all happy and normal when this 12 year old turns around and just stares at me. And I'm all pretending like I don't notice but I really do. And she's just LOOKING at me and I'm like WHAT?!
So annoying.

VAMPIRE DREAM

OK, Last night I had THE craziest and most insane dream, and it was AWESOME.

I dreamt I was a vampire and I had to kill my vampire enemies. I drank beer (which in my dream, is VERY bad for vampires.) With one sip, I was drunk as hell. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO JUMP?" I was supposed to jump from a balcony onto the evil vamps who were letting it be known that there were vampires in town. ILLEGAL. So, we doused the evil vamps in beer, then threw matches upon them, in hopes that they would catch fire and die. That happened for all but one. The worst vampire lived. His name was Tom. For those of you that know me, you will laugh. Haha.
Anyway, He didnt die. So me, my baby vampire, and my GORGEOUS HOT BLACK VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND went running. But my boyfriend was about to die. And I didnt know if I could trust him. For some reason I thought he might be evil as well. Then I woke up.

As I was telling my mum this story, she asked, "Are vampires real?" Both me and my dad responded, "YES!" HAHA. Her response? "HOLY SHIT!"

Goodbye

What a waste of time
He didn't love me
Just wanted me

What a waste of time
He just led me on
He just liked to flirt

What a waste of time
He didn't care how I felt
Just wanted me at his side

What a waste of time
Just wanted someone to show off
Well, he pissed me off

So goodbye.

Love

L istening, living, life
O rchards filled with flowers
V oices in each others ears
E nchanting, eager

Hope

You doubt it
But maybe...

He said no
But maybe...

You don't understand
But maybe...

You cry
But maybe...

You fall
But maybe...

Nothing Matters

Nothing matters when you
Fall to pieces
The one you love
Doesn't love you

Nobody is there when you
Need them the most
When you cry
Your heart out

You have to lie when you
Don't know the answer
To the questions
They ask

You sleep in the dark when you
Don't want to live
Don't want to speak
Have a headache

You remain quiet when you
Don't have anything
To say
When words are
Meaningless

You dont hear people when you
Have a distracted mind
You don't care any more

Nothing matters when
He doesn't love you
There are too many
Questions
You feel empty
And talking
Is meaningless

breaking heart

sigheth

my heart is breaking

faster than a global warming affected ice berg

in al gores slide show

Afraid

And there we stood holding hands, not wanting to let go
Afraid the other would slip away, that the memories would fade

Take My Hand

You could have so much fun with me
Trust me, take my hand, and try
We'll go kite flying, yes, we'll fly high
Then we could sing, and you'll play the guitar
Yeah, you and me, babe, we could go far
We could eat ice cream on a hot summer day
We could go to the movies, or watch a Broadway play
We could go swimming, or dance in the rain
I'll take you for a spin, I've got so much more to say

I Miss You

Still Here

Yeah, I love him
He was mine for a year
You took him home
Now he doesn't come near

I thought we had forever
But our time together ran out
You stole him with a flutter of you lashes
You stole him with a touch of your hand

But I still love him
Could never stop loving him
Once you love, you love always
And baby, I'm still here if you wanna start again

Evol

She picked up the note that landed on her desk. "Wanna chill later?" She smiled. Of course she did. But was he asking her out, or did he just want to chill as friends? Sighing, she nodded in his direction. He smiled. His plan was going into action.
Later that day, they met at the flagpole in front of the school.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey, what's up?"
He knew she liked him. He's known if for a while now.
"Will you go out with me," she asked.
Whoa, he didn't know she'd make it that easy.
What could be going through her mind?
They walked to the park, but it was getting late.
After a while, he said, "I think I'm going to go home now. Thanks for a great day."
She smiled and they kissed.
He got home and walked up to his room. She was waiting on his bed.
"Hi," she whispered. "I've been waiting too long for this."
She jumped and grabbed at his throat. Slashed his clothes with her nails and tore his skin.
He was frozen. She got mad. This was not the reaction she wanted.
She pushed him down on his bed and he finally screamed, "STOP!"
He pushed her off and told her he was going to call 911.
She begged and begged for him not to, so he didn't.
He told her to take it slow, or there was no more dating for them. She agreed.
But how did he know what else she had in store for him?

Dear Shrink

Dear Shrink,

I've been having some issues lately. And I'm wondering if you could help me. That's your job isn't it? All right-y then! Haha!

1) My ex is convinced that I want to get back together with him, but I'm not sure I want to. Sometimes he's a real jerk. But I do miss what he used to be like.

2) I got into a fight with one of my "used-to-be friends" I guess that's what you would call it. He says we were never really good friends. Though, talking every night for a full year does make me think that something is wrong when he randomly stops responding to anything I say. Forcing me to say things like "don't ignore me" when I try to talk to him. *confused*

3) I have this terrible blister on my foot. It really has me thinking, should I wear a band-aid on it?

4) I'm GOING SAILING NEXT WEEK and I don't want to! Help!!

Thank you, Shrink. Write back soon!

Bowling! HAHA.

Greasy bowling balls
Shiny floors
Sketchy guys
Opening doors
Balls go flying
Down the lane
Gutter balls
Drive you insane
"Those guys are free."
"Oh, yeah, yeah, sure!"
That's my brother.
Oh, poor girl.
Throw that ball
Hard as you can
Strike!
I win.

Alone

Sitting on my bed
Thoughts running through my head
"Can't stop the Signal, Mal"
I'm all alone

I wish I was with someone
I wish that you were here
I wish that I could call you
I wish that you were near

I'm all alone in my room
Thinking way too much
Then I think of you
You're having all the fun

"Can't stop the Signal, Mal"
Can't stop it.

What is wrong with me?

Who did I think I was,
To tell you how to be
Who did I think I was,
What is wrong with me?

Didn’t know it would hurt so bad
Didn’t know what you would think
Just missed you too much to care
Just really wished you thought of me

Dreamt of you, thought of you
Did you do the same for me?
Did you move on to someone better?
‘Cause I’m still the same old me

I’m sorry for what I said
And for what I sounded like
I’m sorry that I’m nervous
I don’t understand what’s going on in your head

But who did I think I was,
To tell you how to be
Who did I think I was,
And what is wrong with me?

"Maybe I just need a change, maybe I just need a new cologne."

The other day I went to the doctor and after telling him about my issue with going to school, about my depression, and about my panic attacks, he looks me straight in the eye and says "You need a change." Then after ranting for half an hour about change (sounding a lot like Obama I must say) he concluded that I needed to leave the country for the summer. To experience a Change.

This is not going to happen, but I wonder if that would truly work for someone with as many problems as me.

Time to find someone new.

Normalcy.

Everything has changed. The weather, the time, the style of clothes, the people. Who I am is not who I used to be. Who you are is not who you used to be. Yes, we may look similar to that old school portrait, yes we may still live in the same house, the same town, but we’re older now. Different thoughts, different views and opinions in our minds.
Sometimes I think back to when I was younger and say, boy, I wish I was still as innocent as I was then. I am so different than that girl I used to be. The difference is notable from year to year. I do dress the same as I did last year. I do not think the same as I did last year. Nor do I act the same as I did last year.
People say things like, “She is not normal” or “She is weird.” Tell me, if things are always changing, is there ever a normal? There is only different, there is only weird.
The only thing that could possibly be "normal" is a routine, and after awhile, even that changes.

Fear

Long days
Continuous thoughts
Never-ending dread
A building
Hundreds of people
Loud shouts
Tinny clanging
Lockers slamming
Dragging feet
Dizzy feeling
Blurry vision
Pounding heart
Late, tardy, skip, cut

Fear.

Far Gone

Don't know what I did to drive you away
But there you are, far gone, far gone
Don't know what I did to make you go
But there you are, far gone, far gone

Last time I saw you
It was a sad goodbye
Left me standing on the lawn
Didn't know you'd leave, far gone, far gone.

Don't know what I did to drive you away
But there you are, far gone, far gone
Don't know what I did to make you go
But there you are, far gone, far gone

You found another girl
Found someone else for you
Can't find a guy as good as you
Didn't know you'd leave, far gone, far gone.

Don't know what I did to drive you away
But there you are, far gone, far gone
Don't know what I did to make you go
But there you are, far gone, far gone

Save Me

Locked up in this cage,
I watch the people walk by.
The kids, they point and tease,
with not a care for how I feel.
The keepers feed me dead food,
I do not like it. It's old and rotten.
All day my eyes burn,
From strange flashes that come from little boxes.
I sit in the heat wishing for a little shade.
They throw bread at me and laugh.
It's not funny.
Can't they see I am locked up?
I cannot go anywhere like they.
Sitting here, day after day.
I know I am dead already.

Extra

I'm just an extra in a play
Nothing to do, nothing to say
I sit and watch, memorising lines
I stare at the clock, stare at the time
I observe, remember every single thing
Just in case I'll have a chance to sing
But I'm just an extra in this play
With nothing to do, or nothing to say
When the play is over, I'll just walk away
No one will remember me;
Not tomorrow, not yesterday, not today.

Morning

Rising sun, morning dim.
Quiet daylight, stirring wind.
Life awakens, day begins.
Race of heart, thought of mind.
Dreams of night left behind.
Flutter of lashes, sigh of content.
Nothing more of life is meant.

I want this scooter AT THE LEAST. Or one better than that. *sigh* scoot- scoot- scooterrr. *vroooom*

The Purple Man

One of my favourite youtube videos.

Shakespearean Sonnet

Isadora walked up the stairs,
“Wake up, sweet love,” she cried,
But she saw her husband lying there,
And quickly realized her husband died.
Down she rushed to the maids’ quarters,
To tell them their king was dead;
And all the maids wailed with horror,
While they crowded around his bed.
Taking charge, though pain stabbed her heart,
She ordered the ladies to go on with their duties.
The Queen went through the day, doing her part;
But was found in an alley, broken-hearted and deceased.
True love finds it’s way into open hearts,
A tragedy in the end, when you pull out Cupid’s darts.

Teenage "Love"

Now, this is an interesting subject. Especially when talking about children in middle school.
Yesterday, my tutor was talking about how her middle school students were telling her how many dates they had this year. Dates! They were counting!
Do you really think these kids were "in love" with their "dates"? I highly doubt it. Yet, that's what they all say when they "go out."
Moving on to high school relationships. Things get a little more complicated. Now, it's all fine and dandy when you find that right person, and everything is going well, the both of you completely understand and respect each other. BUT, there's also the "counting relationships" going on again. During high school is when it becomes most dangerous and confusing. First there's the whole "does she/he like me?" and then there's the whole "what if they reject me?" and when you DO start going out, there's the whole "how far should we go?"
I firmly believe that a very little number of high school relationships actually last. We all know that. Which leads me to say, why even bother with going out if you know it's not gonna last?
Well, I can answer my own question.
First: the experience
Second: love is unexplainable, and sometimes it just has to be lived out before it peters out, having been through it myself.
You go through the "honey-moon stage" where everything is covered in fluff and you're happier than a worm in the mud. A short while after, you start realising what your partner is really like. And you might not like that. And you might like it after-all. And that my friends, is one of our missions in life. To find that someone who will stand by us all the time. And we realise that this is our mission at a very young age. We just don't know what to call it or how to go about it.
Nevertheless, we go about our everyday lives, looking for that someone. I think it best to take our time, and not rush things. Love being our mission in life, the end result will come to us in time. We may or may not find them. But going through it is one of the many joys and faults of life. And it's all jolly good fun to think about.

Music Worth Checking Out

Arcade Fire
Arctic Monkeys
The Be Good Tanyas
Ben Folds
Ben Gibbard
Benjamin Taylor
Bloc Party
Bright Eyes
Coconut Records
Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band
Death Cab For Cutie
The Decemberists
Feist
Frightened Rabbit
The Hush Sound
Ida Maria
Iron and Wine
Jaguar Love
Jenny Lewis
Kate Nash
Lenka
Lilly Allen
Meiko
Metric
MGMT
The New Pornographers
of Montreal
Paramore
Portugal. The Man.
The Postal Service
Rilo Kiley
She & Him
Sigur Ros
Spoon
Stars
Streetlight Manifesto
The Strokes
Sufjan Stevens
Tally Hall
Tegan & Sara
Tilly and the Wall
The Weepies
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Zox

Elephants

Why is it that when people see something out of the ordinary, or something they do not expect, they have to point it out even when it's completely obvious.

For example. I have an elephant on my hoodie. Yes, I know that. Thanks for pointing it out. And as my good friend Marten just pointed out, IT'S NOT EVEN WEIRD. YOU IDIOT. I KNOW I HAVE AN ELEPHANT ON MY HOODIE. Like, WTF am I supposed to say to someone who points it out. "No it's actually a beluga whale..." Idiot.

Isadora

She was clothed in a sparkling ember-colored dress that pooled around her feet. When she turned, when she spoke, all eyes followed her. She was beautiful beyond anyone’s imaginings. Her eyes, framed by long dark lashes, seemed to gaze straight into your soul. Her lips, the color of red wine, never marred a word. Her hands, decorated by silver rings, need not have been decorated. Yet the rings did not seem tacky on her. They only enhanced her beauty. She was an impossible fantasy who obviously disregarded the laws of possible and impossible. This was my first time seeing her, and I was already in love. With my clouded state of mind, I sat down along with everyone else when she told us to. Rose when she told us to. Cried when she denied us, rejoiced when she changed her mind. We were under her spell and would die if she told us to. Her power she only knew too well. Whatever she wanted, she got. Whatever she hated was forgot. We became her slaves, we lived to serve her, to only catch that glimpse of her at least once daily. Our reason to live became her, our reason to die was within her. Disobey and know that you were dead too soon. We spoke her name in a hushed whisper. Isadora. Isadora.

From whence did this beauty come from? It was a mystery to us. All we knew, all we would ever know was Isadora, my Isadora. Day after day we labored for her. Built a large fortress, wove tapestries of such glory that they were only fit for Isadora. The dresses and gowns we made were spun of pure silk and gold. The labor was hard but we were convinced it was worth it. No one ever felt the need to rebel. We were all honored to be her chosen ones. Oh, Isadora, darling Isadora. She was our goddess, our shining light. Our health never failed. Isadora made sure of that. We were sheltered from the outside world, told that nothing else existed outside Isadora’s majestic walls. And we were happy as could be, we never expected more than what we had. None of us remembered how we got there. But grateful we were to be there. Nothing else matter to us but Isadora. To say that Isadora was anything but a goddess was a sin. Or should’ve been a sin in our minds.

My photo. I know you like it. Thank you.

Seduction

With nails the color of blood, lips the color of cherries, eyes the color of the sky; she stares into yours with an unmatchable intensity. You blink, not able to control yourself under her glare. The light reflects off her eyes making rainbows. Her beauty is irrestible. Time to succumb.

Regret

Is there an explanation
For this mess we’ve gotten in
I’ve only started to begin
To wonder what that was
I got to know you fine
Could tell you anything
You never seemed to mind
But spending every day with you
Trying to impress all I could
You were always there for me
Even though I couldn’t even be
Myself.
It hurts to know I pushed you hard
We could have been more if we tried
I know you tried
It’s all my fault, and it shows
Never pull away from someone you love
These tears will never dry
I know I’m late but I still want to try
But now it’s like we never spoke a word
Need to see you once again
Or I’ll never see the end to this hurt
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I did this to myself.
I’m sorry I did this to you.

Interesting Links

http://www.stumbleupon.com/

Quit Smoking Ads

Does it bother ex-smokers to see "QUIT SMOKING" ads on T.V.?
It bothers me when I see anti-depression ads on T.V. It's like a constant reminder, "you have problems." I wonder if ex-smokers get the urge to smoke again when they see those ads. It's like telling a dog they can't have a treat, then putting it in front of them. The poor dogs.
But I guess it serves them right for ever smoking in the first place?

If I Were Someone Else

If I were someone else
I'd be a maiden in a tour
With a knight meant to save me
He'd be wearing glistening armour
He'd have good hair, good teeth
A wide smile
A good heart
If I were someone else
I wouldn't be me.